You're completely useless in the revolution.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
