Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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