Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
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