Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
