Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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