Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize
