I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Randomize
