I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
Randomize
