Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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