this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Randomize
