i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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