its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
Randomize
