Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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