he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
