you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
23 People Have Step Parents That Are Younger Than Them
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism