This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night