Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
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ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
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I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.