i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT