Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
