smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
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