Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Randomize
