just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
He felt like a one man threesome
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Randomize
