You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
