the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
