Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
