I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Why are your pants in the freezer?
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
Randomize
