Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
