I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
so he just called his new girlfriend by my name and she was too drunk to even notice how awkward..
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
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