Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize