he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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