All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
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