I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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