If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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