we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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