last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
