That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize