SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
you have to give me like a days notice for these kinds of things, you cant just call at 9 am and expect me to be sober
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
