So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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