I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
