I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
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