hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
Randomize