You work out of a Hotel?
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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