this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
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