My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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