There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
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