i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
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