i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
