capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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