I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I forgot to tell you, that tinder guy literally lives 15 floors beneath me. I have been creepily saying things to him like "I see youve got a hammer on the patio"
Randomize
