awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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