You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
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