Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
