I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize
