My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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