How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Randomize