He disabled his match.com account in front of me
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
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