i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
I'm handcuffed to your bathroom sink. Save me.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
