if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
do herpes really smell.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
Randomize
