i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
