you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize