We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
