i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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