marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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